I told myself a lot of things that weren’t true.
What I actually did was nothing.
I stayed away.
I let myself believe it was easier for everyone.*
*His name is Daniel.
He is five years old.
I have never met him.*
*I found out six weeks ago that Diane is sick.
Not the way I am sick — she may recover.
But she has no family nearby, and Daniel has no one else.
I have been trying to figure out how to tell you.
I kept starting and stopping.
I was ashamed.
I am ashamed.*
*I am not asking you to raise him.
I am not asking you to forgive me right away.
I am asking you to make sure he is not alone.
Whatever that looks like.
Whatever you can manage.
I know this is not fair.*
*You are the most decent person I have ever known.
That is not a small thing to say.
