It was almost midnight when I finally lay down in bed.
My whole body felt like it was made of stone.
Another long day at work, another round of dishes, homework, laundry, and pretending I wasn’t exhausted. I slid under the blanket and turned onto my side, facing away from the lamp. Beside me, Adrian was still awake, the blue light from his phone glowing across his face.
I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep, the way I sometimes did when I was desperate for him to pull me close like fir he used to.
He didn’t.
The room was quiet for a few minutes. I could hear the soft hum of the air conditioner, the occasional car passing outside, the faint tapping of his thumb on the screen.
Then he stopped.
I heard him take a deep, shaky breath. Not the sigh of a man tired from work… the sound of someone who’s been carrying something too heavy for too long.
I thought he was about fir to get up and grab some water.
Instead, I heard something else.
His voice. Barely above a whisper.
“Lord… I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want to hurt Mia… but I’m scared.”
My name.
Mia.
It was like someone poured ice water straight into my chest.
I stayed still. My eyelashes didn’t even twitch. He thought I was asleep, so he kept going.
“If I tell her… I might lose her. But if I don’t… I know I’m wrong.”
My fingers curled under the blanket to stop them from trembling. My heart pounded so loudly I was sure he’d hear it.
Lose me?
For what?
What had he done?
He shifted on the bed, the mattress dipping, then a moment later I heard his footsteps leaving the room. The door opened softly, then clicked shut. A few seconds later, his voice floated down the hallway from the living room — cracked, defeated, talking to himself like a man cornered by his own conscience.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he whispered. “I should have said something right away… I should have told her…”
Told me what?
In ten years of marriage, I had never heard Adrian sound like that. Not when we were broke. Not when we lost a pregnancy. Not even when his mother was dying in the hospital.
